It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
