go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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