He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize