For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
