my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
