All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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