I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
