She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
