I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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