When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
