dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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