It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
