hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
