What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
