goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
