My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
