Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
