that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize