Only a mothe r could love this liver
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
