Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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