Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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