u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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