she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
