He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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