An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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