What did we do last night that was yellow?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
