so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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