I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
