He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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