A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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