I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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