Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
