Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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