Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter