People in love make me want to vomit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
