I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
