Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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