I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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