ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize