Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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