sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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