Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
