So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
