we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
