I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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