Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize