My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
