We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
