Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
