THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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