i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
