in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sober January is a disaster.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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