Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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