chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just google imaged poop.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
