YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
