Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
