why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
