i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
